


TSA (The Sex Administration)

by WarmthOfRain



Series: Don't Ask Stupid Questions (or, Destiel Being Idiots) [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Airports, Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Blowjobs, Destiel - Freeform, Fanart, First Kiss, Fluff and Smut, Inspired by Fanart, M/M, Neck Kissing, Not Beta Read, Rough Kissing, Security Guard Castiel (Supernatural), Shameless Smut, Smut, TSA Employee Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, airport security
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:41:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27711512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarmthOfRain/pseuds/WarmthOfRain
Summary: “What have we here?”The guard he’d locked eyes with is standing next to his colleague. He has a smirk on his face that could make even a good Christian think of various sins to commit, right there.Dean tries to think of something else. Like puppies. Yeah, Sam has a dog. What was his name again?“I’ve got this, Ralph.” the guard says and when he steps over, Dean can read the tag on his shirt. ‘Castiel’.God, even his name sounds hot as fuck.Dean scolds himself. ‘Get it together, Jesus’ his brain supplies. Dean’s trying to avoid spontaneous combustion when the guard takes out a long, black stick and points it at him.“I’m going to have to check you, Sir, if you don’t mind.” he smiles, perfect teeth of course, and Dean swallows so loud, he’s sure even the dead could hear him.“Yeah, sure, no problem.” he says and the guard swings the stick, indicating for him to step aside just a little.The guard, Castiel, comes closer until they’re almost chest to chest.Dean has stopped breathing by now.And then, Castiel kneels down and Dean almost groans.//An AU based on that TSA skit.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Don't Ask Stupid Questions (or, Destiel Being Idiots) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1994947
Comments: 13
Kudos: 151





	TSA (The Sex Administration)

**Author's Note:**

> Like there aren't enough fics about the TSA skit (If you haven't seen it, here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYDuDGISJXs) out there, I decided to write one myself, because I saw this art on Instagram, and it deserves to be shared. The art that made me write this fic was made by @lasagnaxart on Instagram (I'll share the link to the pic below since idfk how to add an image here lmao). Go check her out because she has done some amazing stuff! Thank you, Gabi, for letting me share this with others <3 (I hope this isn't a great big cringe fest for you)
> 
> PS. The title was @arsistiel's idea, thanks for coming through, beta-bitch.

The link to the artwork is [here](https://64.media.tumblr.com/883104468485aaa01443e66622d30bd7/e54ebb3430798aa1-18/s1280x1920/9abbb63b5cb781a3f7bd7a734ea132f8a7ffb301.jpg?fbclid=IwAR3q9BE91_cjFTJyKFtowx5izLXx-UfwNP5wfTLxbjZeHt80Mg9Ugw1Ri3s). (It's also on her instagram, so GO check it out!)

//

Dean can feel himself getting too hot in this small airport.

It’s always like this - whenever he leaves Texas, it’s always the same small airport and it’s always too hot in here. He clings to his collar, trying to loosen the buttons of the flannel as he stands in line to go through the security gates.

Luckily, he has only one bag this time. Though, he knows that Sammy will probably eye it like he’s never seen such a ‘small’ bag before and say something like ‘ _that’s it?_ ’.

And Dean would say something along the lines of ‘ _not everyone travels with 3 bottles of shampoo and 5 bottles of conditioner, Sam._ ’

Dean shuffles forward, placing his bag onto the moving conveyor and glances at the gates, while removing his sunglasses that are dangling on his shirt.

The airport is fairly packed, but this is a morning flight so it makes sense. There is a lady there, instructing people and a guard behind the gate. A little further along the line of the conveyor there are two more guards, in the signature blue shirt and gray dress pants, with radios on their shoulders.

Dean’s eyes glide over the pair, but then his eyes go right back.

One of them has black hair and a beard and looks kind of burly. But that’s not what catches his eyes, not why he needs to do a double take.

The other security guard is looking at him and that’s why they lock eyes for a moment. Dean can see the blue in them even from this far. His jaw is sharp and covered with some stubble, just like Dean’s own, he has an eyebrow raised that makes him look hot as fuck. His arms are straining under the shirt and the pants that he's wearing are fitting him all too well. A very inappropriate thought of ‘ _wonder what he looks like from behind_ ’ goes through Dean’s mind.

As quickly as they lock eyes, Dean also averts them. He doesn’t need to get into a bi-panic in the middle of an airport.

And why hasn’t he seen this guy before?

Without thinking, he goes through the gate and it immediately starts beeping.

He sighs, head falling back. Just what he needed.

“Oh, wait, must be this.” he raises his hand to the other guard at the gate, the gleam of his watch almost blinding the man. Dean gives him an apologetic look and tries to look less like a criminal as he puts the watch into a basket.

He goes through the gate again, praying that the gate lets him pass, it’s not like he’s trying to get through the gates of Heaven.

Of course, with his luck, it still beeps.

And then he hears a voice, that sends a delicious shiver down his spine and straight to his groin.

Okay, so he has a voice kink, so what?

“What have we here?” The guard he’d locked eyes with is standing next to his colleague. He has a smirk on his face that could make even a good Christian think of various sins to commit, right there.

Dean tries to think of something else. Like puppies. Yeah, Sam has a dog. What was his name again?

“I’ve got this, Ralph.” the guard says and when he steps over, Dean can read the tag on his shirt. ‘ _Castiel_ ’.

God, even his name sounds hot as fuck.

Dean scolds himself. ‘ _Get it together, Jesus_ ’ his brain supplies. Dean’s trying to avoid spontaneous combustion when the guard takes out a long, black stick and points it at him.

“I’m going to have to check you, Sir, if you don’t mind.” he smiles, perfect teeth of course, and Dean swallows so loud, he’s sure even the dead could hear him.

“Yeah, sure, no problem.” he says and the guard swings the stick, indicating for him to step aside just a little.

The guard, Castiel, comes closer until they’re almost chest to chest. Dean has stopped breathing by now.

And then, Castiel kneels down and Dean almost groans. _What the fuck?_

Oh, right, he has to start from his legs, right, right. Dean is definitely not having a panic. He’s just glad he wore the jeans that are a little more loose and hopefully, hide the hard-on he feels coming on.

He can’t believe he’s literally turned on by a stranger. But this stranger is kneeling in front of him and resembling more and more a scene from a porn movie Dean’s probably watched at some point, so he starts thinking that maybe he’s dreaming?

He can feel the black stick that is used to detect dangerous objects slide against his inner thigh and he tries not to squirm. Castiel moves around him, behind him and almost presses against him as he let’s the thing slide over Dean’s body.

“Is this standard protocol?” Dean manages to ask, and damn it his voice sounds huskier than he wanted it to be.

He can hear a lowly chuckle behind him.

“Let’s say it is.”

Ah, okay, this is just… fantastic. Dean bites his lip and closes his eyes, trying not to think about the situation he is in.

“I promise, this’ll be quick.” The guard comes in front of him again. He looks absolutely gorgeous and Dean is trying not to have a panic attack.

“Come with me.” Castiel tnen says and Dean stares at him in disbelief.

“What?” he managed to croak out, but Castiel nods towards the door that says ‘ _Secured area_ ’.

Dean looks around, utterly lost, but Castiel is already going to the door and Dean wants to board his flight so he follows.

Totally not because he likes the way the guard looks walking away from him. Dean tilts his head a little, observing him. He blushes when Castiel turns around to open the door for him and catches him staring. The guard smirks.

“In there. Take a seat, please.”

Dean finds himself sitting on a chair inside a very dimly lit room, with white walls and airport posters on the floor that say how much liquid you’re allowed to have on the plane. The guard comes in from another door and Dean looks up.

The way he has a determined scowl on his face makes him look authoritative, the uniform just adds to it.

Dean curses his voice kink along with his kink for men in uniforms.

“So, where to?” Castiel asks, coming closer and setting down a paper and Dean’s ID in front of him on the table.

“Canada.”

“On what business?” Dean scowls back but Castiel raises an eyebrow, as he walks up to Dean and then behind him.

“Ugh, visiting my brother.” The guard hums and Dean tries to ignore how his dick stands to attention at the sound.

“Stand up, please.” even if he’s being polite, Dean can still hear the authoritative manner with which he speaks and it makes his heart speed up faster than his Impala could ever go.

He stands up and stares at the white wall like it’s the most interesting thing in the world.

The guard comes up to him again and he is so close, Dean can feel his breath.

“You’re awfully far from your brother. No other family here?" the guard glosses over that quickly by continuing with "I’m going to search you, starting from your legs.”

Then, Castiel goes down and his hands go to Dean’s ankles, as he literally tells him step by step what his doing.

_Okay, time to die_.

“Ugh, I don’t-” Dean stammers, what has this got to do with anything? “I work on the ranch with my uncle Bobby. Sam’s got a job as a lawyer up in Montreal.”

Why is he talking about this to a security guard? But Castiel’s voice is so smooth and low and just… _fuck_.

Dean tries not to look down but he does and Castiel looks up and Dean has to bite his lip again.

No way that image will ever leave his mind ever again, this fucking hottest man on the freaking planet kneeling in front of him.

“I could tell you work out, or at least have a physically demanding job.” Dean feels his heart stutter and breath hitch when Castiel’s hands slide up and down his legs.

The guard comes upwards and stands closer. “Are you sure you don’t have anything on you that might’ve triggered the gate?”

His hands go around Dean and Dean has to move his face, just so he doesn’t accidentally give in and kiss this man.

“I- Ugh, no.” he stammers as the guards hands are on him, behind Dean’s back. And then, Castiel searches his pack pockets. Dean can feel the strong hands on his ass and he tries not to groan out loud.

This is torture.

Castiel removes his hands and puts them on his chest now. “No liquids?”

_Ah, well, keep going and there will be_ , Dean thinks.

“Um, no.” Dean tells him, trying to sound confident. Fuck, this is straight out of a porn movie. Only he’s panicking more than he would care to admit.

Castiel smirks at him and his hands go lower. Fuck.

And then, the guard taps Dean’s belt buckle with his fingers. Dean’s breath hitches and the guard notices. And that’s when Dean feels mortified.

“I think I’ve found the problem.” the guard says to him and Dean exhales, feeling his face get hot, and that’s not the only thing that’s getting hot. _The fucking belt buckle, really, Dean?_

“Oh, um,” Dean practically stammers, his hand going up to his collar to tug at it.

Castiel gives him another smug smile. “Need help?” Dean feels like dying.

“I’m good.”

But Castiel’s fingers undo the buckle with one click and Dean exhales. The guard is so close to his face. He can practically lean in the last inch and just-

“You should really pay more attention while going through the security.” Castiel tells him, a sort of superiority in his voice as he smirks at Dean.

And then, Dean’s had enough. This literally never happens, right? And even if this is a dream, no way won’t he act on this.

“I mean, if there are hot security guards taking you to the back room for private search throughs every time, I don’t think I will.”

Castiel raises his eyebrow and god, Dean thinks he’s never wanted to get laid so much before.

It’s been a while, but that’s not the point. The point is that this man has been flirting with him all this time and Dean really, really doesn’t mind if this man has his way with him. 

Really, he doesn’t.

The guard smirks and his wrist flicks as he pulls at Dean’s belt, removing it completely and yanking at it makes Dean fall forward a little.

“That’s not very exemplary behavior.” Castiel tells him and he is so close, he is almost speaking against Dean’s lips. “I think you should probably be taught a lesson on how the protocols work in airports.”

“Fuck, yes.” is what comes out of Dean’s mouth, he didn’t meant to say it but seeing Castiel’s eyes widen a little at that is worth it.

Castiel’s hands go to his chest, pushing him back and with a few steps, Dean hits the wall behind him and Castiel leans close, pressing his lips right below Dean’s jaw.

Without any kind of warning, he sucks on the skin there and Dean lets out a strangled moan.

When Castiel’s hands go inside the waistband of his jeans, Dean sucks in a breath. He removes himself from the wall a little, “Am I being detained?”

He can’t help his little provocative jokes, they just come out whenever they feel like.

Castiel’s mouth slides towards his earlobe and bites it a little and Dean’s hands fly to the guards waist, clutching at him.

“I’m not a police officer but,” Castiel’s breath tickles his ear and then the man pushes Dean back against the wall again, making him grunt as Castiel smirks “You have the right to remain silent.”

Dean ignores the way his dick twitches at that and he tries to control his breathing, when Castiel’s hands go to his shirt, unbuttoning it.

He can’t ignore the shake of his hands, though, when he pushes at the man in front of him to get that uniform off the guard as soon as possible.

He doesn’t know why the fuck he wants this so much, but he does.

The pull towards this man is undeniable and Dean just lets his brain shut down, when Castiel’s hands roam around his naked chest. Castiel’s lips replace his hands and his teeth graze over one of Dean’s nipples and Dean just lets his head fall against the wall with a thud.

Castiel shrugs off his own shirt and Dean pulls him in, lips hungrily locking with his.

Their teeth almost clash when Dean opens his mouth and Castiel steps closer, making their bodies collide against each other.

“Ah, fuck,” Dean lets out against the man’s lips while Castiel produces a low growl in his throat. Their lower halves are pressed together and Dean can feel their hard-ons rubbing together.

It’s hot in this small room and the blood is boiling in his veins but all he wants is this man to just undress him and fuck him.

The thought doesn’t even surprise him anymore, because the look in Castiel’s eyes tells him that he is just as hungry for this as he is.

The blue orbs lock with Dean’s when Castiel pulls away, his hand going between them to palm Dean through his jeans.

He lets out a sigh and Castiel smirks at him. He leans into Dean, hand still sliding up and down on him, teeth catching on Dean’s bottom lip.

It’s still torture, but the best kind.

Dean’s brain seems to be shutting down, as Castiel’s hands remove his jeans, sliding them down as he himself lowers as well.

He doesn’t dare to look down, but when Castiel hums and lets his fingers dip into the hem of his boxers, he just has to. With hooded eyes Dean stares down and sees Castiel’s mouth just an inch from his dick and the sight just makes him squirm.

He lets out a loud string of curse words as Castiel slides his lips around him, slowly torturing him, but Dean just balls up his hands in fists against the wall.

He can feel Castiel hollow his cheeks, he can feel his tongue licking over the tip of Dean’s cock and he can feel the man’s hands on his ass, close to his hole.

If that’s what’s going to happen, Dean knows he will come in less than a minute.

But he can’t voice his concern because Castiel goes all the way down and Dean’s hands go into his hair, tugging at it. When Castiel sucks and let’s his finger tease around his entrance, Dean let’s out a “God fucking damn it, Cas,” and doesn’t even notice what he said.

The man looks up towards him with those bright blue eyes at that and Dean makes the mistake to look down at him and comes, with a low and long moan.

He wants to apologize, but he can’t form the words, because Castiel swallows every last drop of him and comes back up, licking his lips.

“I’m guessing you _were_ actually carrying liquids.”

Dean stares at him in disbelief, did this man just make a Dean Winchester type of joke?

And why did it sound so hot?

He pulls at Castiel’s pants, making his body fall into Dean’s and Dean lets his lips go over his neck. He kisses and then sucks on a spot below the guard’s ear and Castiel lets out a low moan.

“It’s not my fault you’re so fucking hot.”

Castiel chuckles and lets Dean move over his neck, kissing and licking and biting, while Dean tries to come down from his high.

Castiel’s hands go to cup his ass and Dean almost whines at that. He can feel his dick try and twitch to attention.

He just came, but the look Castiel is giving him makes him want to do it all over again. What the fuck is happening to him?

Castiel’s mouth comes back to cover his, and Dean can taste the saltiness on his tongue. It turns him on so much, he almost jumps the man.

His hands go to the guard’s back and his nails drag a trail down Castiel’s back. The man groans at that and blinks at Dean, his lips parted.

Dean feels his legs starting to give in, he can feel them shaking. But he holds up his end bravely, by undoing Castiel’s button on the ridiculously well-fitting pants and the man shuffles out of them, just as Dean does the same to his own pants still pooled around his ankles.

Dean glances down, because he’s managed to get Castiel’s underwear off along with his pants and the sight that greets him makes him want to drop down to his knees so badly.

But Castiel’s hand goes to Dean’s jaw, making him lock eyes with the guard. Castiel smirks when Dean licks his lips and his hands go back to Dean's ass. With a quick movement (and holy fuck, this guy is strong) he lifts Dean up and he locks his legs around Castiel.

Castiel’s hand goes to his ass, still pushing Dean against the wall for balance and let’s his finger slide in.

Dean whimpers when he feels it - it’s overstimulating now that he’s already come once, but it’s also incredibly good.

“Fuck, fuck,” is all he can repeat when Castiel’s fingers work on him. Castiel smirks at him, the glint in his eyes almost wicked.

“In a minute,” he tells Dean and Dean melts.

“You can’t just say that-” Dean replies, but he’s silenced when Castiel twists his fingers in him and brushes against his prostate. Dean moans, but he isn’t even allowed to finish, when Castiel is lowering him onto his own cock.

It’s stars behind Dean’s eyelids, it’s fire in his veins and it’s like his ears are ringing. And that’s just from having to feel Castiel inside of him.

“Holy shit,” Dean lets out and Cas chuckles, breathily. He lets his forehead touch Dean’s when he lets him adjust.

“Fuck,” Castiel lets out as he stays still and Dean can tell he’s trying to restrain himself from moving. It makes him giddy and at the same time, impatient.

“Come on,” he tells the man and Castiel looks up, his hair a mess and looking as disheveled as Dean feels, as he squirms against Castiel “Show me what you got.”

Castiel’s eyes on him are unchanging but his jaw is set, when his hands dig into Dean’s waist, pushing himself forward.

Dean tries hard not to scream out in pleasure as Castiel fucks him against the wall.

Who even knows if rooms like these have soundproof walls?

Was the door even locked?

Dean can’t form any words, all he can do is be the moaning mess that he is, but Castiel is like the mirror image of Dean, all pants and grunts.

His hands on Dean are strong, his nails digging in and Dean’s hands are on his back, clutching at him and pulling him so close, it doesn’t even seem possible.

When Dean feels Castiel pick up speed, he drops his head and leans to kiss the man. For no particular reason, he just wants to taste him again, and he sucks on Castiel’s bottom lip.

With that, Castiel lets out a long, low moan as he comes without a warning and Dean feels Castiel slump against him, mouth going against Dean’s skin and cursing into the crook of his neck.

It makes shivers run down Dean’s spine and with a growl, he comes too, head spinning because of the second wave of pleasure coursing through him.

Okay, so this might be the hottest thing he’s ever done.

Castiel’s head is still on his shoulder, when Dean feels his legs give in and he lowers them from around Castiel’s waist.

“Holy fucking Christ,” he says, when Castiel removes himself from Dean, both of them sliding down onto the floor.

“No, I’m Castiel.” the guard says with a smirk and Dean smacks his shoulder tiredly.

“Dick.”

“You liked it.”

Dean snorts. “Dude, you’re killing me.”

Castiel shrugs and Dean looks over to him. They’re sitting side by side, naked and Castiel is still covered with, well, Dean, so he takes his shirt and cleans it.

Castiel watches his movements. “So, you’re planning to leave this room without a shirt?”

Dean wiggles his eyebrows, “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”. Castiel laughs at that, but Dean shakes his head. “No, you’re going to get out there and bring me my bag that has all my other shirts.”

Castiel’s eyebrow goes up. “That so?”

“I just let you fuck me against a wall in an airport security room.” Dean deadpans.

“Fair enough,” Castiel says and looks for his pants and shirt. Dean laughs, reaching for his own pants.

When he gets up he feels, unsurprisingly, sore. He winces and Castiel gives him a smug smile.

“Shut up.”

Castiel snorts, “Okay, Dean.”

It’s the first time he’s heard the guy say his name and in his low tone it sounds sexy as hell.

Scratch that, everything this man says sounds sexy.

Damn him and his voice kink.

When Castiel comes back, Dean is sitting on the chair, laid back and just in his jeans, catching a breath. Castiel stops at the door, closing it and then eyeing Dean.

He feels self-conscious suddenly, as Castiel’s eyes roam over him.

“What?” he chuckles, nervous, but Castiel shakes his head.

“Nothing,” he says, but seems to think it over, because he then says “You look incredibly hot and beautiful at the same time.”

Dean finds himself blushing when Castiel leans over to give him his bag. “Right back at ya, handsome.”

Castiel smiles and leans onto the wall as Dean rummages through his bag, finding a tight fitting white T-shirt.

“So, this what you do on your workdays? Pick up random strangers at the airport and give them a ‘private pat down?’” Dean asks Castiel casually, and the guard’s mouth forms a hard line as he eyes him.

“No. Not really.” he says, coming forward, when Dean gets up. He’s closer than a stranger would be, but then again, they did just fuck in the security room. “In fact, I’ve never done that before.”

Dean feels his heart beat loud in his chest and he feels like he’s having a stroke. Goddamn those blue eyes, if they could just lay off him a little-

“I’m honored.” Dean tells him, releasing a small laugh.

Castiel tilts his head and it looks adorable. “When is your flight back?”

Dean does the numbers in his head. “Tuesday night, I think.”

Cas smirks. “Well, then, Dean” he says his name like it's something profound and Dean finds that he absolutely loves it, “We will meet again.”

Dean wants to put his hand on Castiel’s shoulder, so he does. Castiel smiles at him and Dean finds it to be breathtaking, in fact.

Okay, now he’s getting mushy. _What the damn hell?_

“You can bet your sweet ass on that. I might just get a piercing, just to set off the gates.”

Castiel’s eyes widen at that. Dean relishes it, leaning over towards him and pressing a soft kiss below his jaw.

“See you then, Cas.” he finds that he likes the shortened version of Castiel’s name, and the guard seems to like it too, because his hands go to Dean’s hips and he pulls him in, closer.

“Okay, Dean.” he says in his low voice as he leans down to press a light kiss on Dean’s lips.

It sends another shiver down Dean’s spine and his stomach does a flip.

When he walks away, adjusting his shirt and his pants (not suspicious at all), all he can think about is the stunning blue eyes and how TSA should probably stand for something other than Transportation Security Administration.

More like The Sex Administration.

He snorts at his own stupid joke as he hands over the ticket to the flight attendant, but as he glances over his shoulder, he knows there’s one other person who would think it’s funny.

Castiel stands further back, a colleague talking to him, but his eyes are on Dean with that small smirk on his face.

Yeah, Dean would gladly walk through those security gates again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, my fellow Yees and Haws!
> 
> I started a series for Destiel, because my friend keeps giving me prompts and I want to write short fics, so I made this. Everything that ever goes here will probably be as short as this one, so they're more like oneshots - probably more crack than anything. Some of them might be AU, like this one.
> 
> If you liked this, let me know in the comments and please leave a Kudos, if you would be so kind (you don't have to, obviously, I'm not threatening anybody. Maybe.)
> 
> You can also find me on  
> Wattpad: WarmthOfRain  
> Instagram: warmthofrain  
> Twitter: rain_warmth  
> Tumblr: malecbaby
> 
> Peace out, bitches *throws peace signs*


End file.
